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have not

I have not been on here in a while. Just got my desk top hooked up so now I cangt caught up and post an update on here. I have been thinking a lot here latly. Iam a little worried that since I dont have a good relationship with my family (why I dont know) that after my Mom passes away that I will be alone, I wont have any family at all. This is pretty scarry if you ask me. I was just wondering if any one else has the same fears about truly dying alon or spendig your life alone.


Hay you all Iam wanting to start getting more active on here again. Like I have said in my other recent posts I will be moving to Knoxville so looking forward to that. Iam so ready for a change in senery. I also plan on getting back into school when I move to Knoxville, TN. So here is just a little update for you all.


I will be moving back to TN in March, I have been looking at apartments in Knoxville. They are so much more then I pay here. So part of me is scared that I wont beable to afford them and get in over my head but all I can do is try and hope I make it. I know I will I just have to keep the faith and the positive thinking.

Happy late Halloween

I love Halloween its my favorite Holiday. For some reason this year there were no good scary movies on this year wtf happened. I rember when there would be a ton of old scary movies on. Oh well maybe next year. I have been sick this past week with bronchitis and laryngitis withch is finnaly getting better I went to the DR and got some antibiotic and cough suryp.

Dear Me,

Why are you so unmodivated, un focoused? Whats wrong with me? I feal like Iam just taking up space and never going to secsued in life like I will never amount to any thing. I guess the best way to describe me is Eyore off Whine the Pooh. Just like he feals his house can fall on him and he just is like oh well no modivation to do better Iam failing school. I dont want to work retail the rest of my life or in a low paying job. I want a future it just feals like I can never have that. I have wondered if I need sme couciling or anti-depresents. Iam so easly distracted its driving me nuts. Any ideas?


Sorry guys I have not been on here in a while. I need to get causght up on here. I have missed LJ friends. School is going realy well at the moment. I have droped down to one class so that has helped me alot. Plus my teacher is a awsome teacher and I enjoy her class so that is a plus. So lets hope I pass this one. Ill try to get caught up on here soon.


Iam having a dificult time with my colleges learning disabilitys program. No one has returned my calls and I have called like 2 a day and have sent emails. Iam getting verry discourged about the whole going back to school thing. I'am lacking modivation to study (let alone do any thing at all). At work I take on too much and ussualy dont get every thing done cause I start projects and dont finish cause I get board with them. I know I need the education but its starting to feal like Iam not cut out for it at all. I so fustrated and discourged from even trying to finish the semster out. I need help but it seems that know one at the school will help me its like Iam a bother to them. I called adviseing to see it they had any ideas as far as classes since I droped my history class about what I could take next semester. I also want to ask them as far as studying help if they know any ideas. Iam thinking of going up there and seeing if I cant talk to some one. Any advise books any thing. Just rember Iam easly board.

Just noticed

I have noticed why I have been in schoool that there are a lot of adults (25 and up) that are going back to school. Iam wondering if it is cause of the recetion that so many adults are going back to school? I have some in my class that are in there late 30's and early 40's some even older then that. Just wanted to know what you all think.

1st day

I had a awsome 1st day of school. My Psychology teacher seems like she is a good one and that I will enjoy the class. So far so good lets just hope that the rest of the classes are that good. Still waiting on the History books that the bookstore messed up and got the wrong one so now know one has a History book. I guess in a way its a good thing I wont be the only one. I have my communications class tonight, 6-8:45 one night a week. Any advice on doing well in any of these 3 subjects please let me know.


School starts Monday, Iam so ready too. Iam also nervous as well but it will be fun. Well my best friend has traded me in for a new model. This girl she works with, there always going and doing stuff together and I feal abandoned. I hate it too its like everyone around me is not wanting me around. Like I have no friends. At least I have my internet friends. I have some people at work that I hang out with but not like I can call them at a moments notice and go eat or shop. I like being alone but some times that sucks that I feal that Iam going to die alone. Part of me wonders if Ill ever find some one that wont hurt me? Iam so sick of it, its almost like I dont want to take a chance on any one from boy friends to just friends cause I look at it as whats the point.